Hopes and Fears

I’m in so much pain, I can hardly move. I can’t afford medical. I don’t do drugs. I just want to sleep, but I can’t. When I’m in so much pain, I can’t do anything right. Everything that happens around me makes me angry.

A person can’t be angry without being afraid first. I’m afraid the pain will never stop.

I hope … I never give up hope.

It's All in The Family

Every morning I wake up, I’m grateful for a good night’s sleep. Sleeping well is important for our spiritual, mental and physical health. I know many people have difficulty getting good sleep. I’ve heard that some people walk, some talk, some even eat or drive cars in their sleep. Phew! Makes me tired just thinking about it.

I’m also grateful for every waking moment I get. I don’t think I get enough waking moments, so I’m up early and I go to bed late. I want to be wide awake every minute so I don’t miss one beautiful thing in this world. Not enough beautiful things happen in life; I want to stay awake for them all!

My awake time is precious; I invest some each day reading news and views concerning the homeless, the working poor, the elderly and the disabled. These groups of people have one thing in common; they live their lives hoping to get respect. They don’t live to get money; they don’t live to get good looks; they live their waking moments to get respect. I guess I just respect that!

I read a news article today from Seattle posted on the Homeless People's Network. It addresses the question: As the numbers of seniors grows, can the state help with their care? The question shouldn’t be new news to anybody. In fact, even the concerns raised in the article are old fodder for old codgers. What’s new and fresh is the inspired answer to a serious and developing concern.

The article begins:

“At their stage in life, Pam … and her friends don't swap tips about raising kids anymore. They talk about how emotionally draining and complicated it can be to find good (affordable) care for frail parents. And that leads to worries about their own old age.”

Four main concerns were raised in the article: assurance of quality health care (without abuse) is uncertain because of cost ($); public dollars will not be able to cover the growing health care cost ($); individuals need to develop plans to take care of their personal health care cost ($); we need laws that will lower health care cost ($).

And the final answer is:

“One of the remedies she (Pam) and her friends joke about is starting a commune. Perhaps, they would buy a big house, where they would live together and contribute to the common good. Wouldn't that be a pleasant way to live … ?”

I think it would be a pleasant way for the elderly, the disabled, the poor, and even the homeless to live. I think it would make for some beautiful moments in some not-so-beautiful days in some pretty important lives. I think so, because it sounds just like it's all in the ‘family’ to me!

And if we all lived like family, I think we’d all get a better night’s sleep.

Some Blasted Fun!

I’ve had so much blasted fun today, and it’s only the 3rd! I spent a good part of the day catching up with friends on the internet. Plus, it’s a Monday and I’m feeling good!

But, it’s a hot Minnesota Monday, and it leaves me thinking of cooler times. And thinking of cooler times gets me to thinking about Willie.

This past winter, Willie had a tough time keeping a handle on his toes. I think he did more than a few trips to the hospital with frozen feet. And on each trip, he lost a toe or two. Boy, it sure has slowed Willie down.

When the homeless get slow and start losing digits by the foot to frostbite, they are in for more than a foot of trouble. When a person has lost his toes, its difficult to stand up, it’s hard to walk, and it does a number on the personal hygiene; I think. At least, that’s what they all tell me on the street. I have more than one friend who has lost toes, and feet, even entire friends to frostbite. I’ve lost a friend or two to the cold myself. Minnesota cold can make a body want to just quit! So, while I’m sittin’ thinkin’ of cooler times, I’m thinking about Willie, too.

I saw him Sunday, and he’s still wearing winter boots; I mean, he’s wearing mukluks salvaged months ago from piles of melting snow. The boots don’t work too well for walking around in the heat and humidity; especially when walked in by an old man who isn’t so good at walking, period.

Tomorrow, I plan on having some fun; some blasted fun! I’m planning to blast Willie right out of his old boots, and into a new pair of shoes! I hope he’ll have some blasted fun, as well.

Living the Bottom-line

Each day that I serve the homeless on the streets, I have a specific amount of money I can spend. I get to decide how I spend the money, based on how I’ve spent money every week since 1997. I might make mistakes, but they’re nickel and dime when I do. I don’t get any complaints, so I just keep on keepin’ on.

I spend the budget I get on fuel, food, soda pop, and kitchen supplies; pretty much in that order. If I have money left from week to week, I spend it on emergency items of a personal nature, like socks, first aid supplies, and birthday gifts. Often, the homeless I serve give me spare change. I spend that money on tobacco and beer.

I drive over 300 miles each week to serve the homeless and the disabled; that’s a lot of fuel. I spend one dollar on each meal I serve; up to 120 meals every week. I don’t usually have money left over to buy socks or special needs items; those are often provided by individuals and corporations through donations and contributions. Most every week, I get enough spare change to buy three pouches of spin, and a twelve-pack of beer.

Each year, I drive over 15,000 miles in a donated van, I serve over 6,000 meals outdoors, and I provide hundreds of people emergency services, all on a budget of less than $15,000.

HOPE of Minnesota is a 501(c)3, not-for-profit organization. I’m no accountant, but looking at the budget and the services provided, I see a whole lot of profiting going on. Hungry people are fed, sick people are ministered to, and everyday, God makes miracles of hope and healing happen to the hurting.

Everyday we live, we are given a measure of Mercy and a gift of Love. We get to decide how we spend that budget of blessings. At the end of our days, our measure of profit isn’t going to be determined by an accountant’s book, but by how we've spent everyday living the bottom-line.